I don't know what am I thinking right now why I'm still and continuing typing every words here to think that it might slip on to someone who will have an idea whom I'm talking about. It's just I need this to express myself and what I'm feeling right now. I'm all distorted and shattered at the moment. Maybe not completely but I feel something missing something lacking. Or maybe I'm only just looking for what is lacking in my life now that I fail to recognize things existed and things I have.

There is this guy and I won't mention his name nor where I met him and anything about him. Basta there is this guy that I adore. And I think this feeling is getting somewhere no this is not getting somewhere because I already have someone with me. Or least I know we're still together though, but let's not focus on that. So don't just me.

I don't know where and when does it start but it grows deeply everyday and everytime I see him. I took precautions I really did but things went out of control and I don't know what to do anymore. I know he doesn't want me and I hope he will not because it will be as frustrating as what it is now.

I know this post is shattered and no definite path but all I know he saves my heart from heartache everytime I feel pain from the relationship I'm in now.


shattered ellie