Beautiful Goodbye

by - Friday, September 09, 2016



I’m afraid for this day to come, to finally bid goodbye. I feel so sad every time I think of it and I do think of it every day; from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I close it at night. If only I can drag the days longer to always hear your voice even if I always wear my earplugs, to always see your smile, to always take a sneak on your eyes, to always admire how your hair perfectly suits you,.


If only I can drag the days longer to always be with you even from afar and feel your presence each and every time. It hurts and it hurts more every day. If only I can wipe all the feelings I have for you. If only I can teach this heart of mine to stop beating for you. If only I can unlove you. If only it would be that easy. I will. But it isn’t, because I have fallen for you more than I can imagine.


I’m sorry for liking you.


I’m sorry if, for the past months that me glancing-to-staring at you gives you creeps. Sorry if I irritate you when you catch me glaring at you. I don’t even know why I am apologizing in the first place but I know somehow with those instances I felt that I annoyed you and I am deeply sorry for that. It’s just, there are some things in this world you can’t let your eyes off it; no matter how hard you tried diverting away from everything.


I guess that’s the beauty of the eyes, it will lead you right back where it finds beauty beyond comparison; but as tricky as it is, it pursues the things that will hurt you all the more without it knowing as it did to mine.


I guess it’s just me building pile of memories with my eyes that somewhere behind it, it has seen something worth staring, worth keeping, worth remembering.


Please don’t hate my words. There are days that I’m bad at it.

I’m really bad at it.



Ellie

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2 comments

  1. Aw! This hurts me.*virtual hug*

    xoxo
    www.qingsstyle.com

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  2. Ellie, that line about wishing you wipe away your feelings... I often think that too... It's been almost 5 years and although I have come to terms with the good bye... I still have the feelings I wish I could wipe away...

    Oh and the eyes, I see his eyes in my mind and they always made me smile... I hope you are able to wipe away the feelings or at least understand them... me too... xox

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Thanks for the wonderful message!