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Hindi lang "AldUb" ang may weeksary! Ako din! 3rd weeksary ko sa office today! Haha anyway, today marks my 16th day at the office as Jr. QA Analyst. I am forever grateful for this opportunity. It has been a challenge where I am right now. I won't elaborate further but I know this challenge will mold me to be much better for my future. I have so many plans regarding my career, and the biggest is going out of the country for work. Hopefully, by the end of year next year I was able to pursue it already.
Honestly, some of my friends asked me why I wanted to work abroad, and why going to such place alone. It has been my fascination to go to place where no one knows me or even recognize me. A place where everything is new to me. Where I can start being(?) me. Or doing things without boundaries. I wanted to prove something not for anyone but for myself. That though I graduate late, not on time, that though I have so many difficulty during my college days (financial and all) I can still work for those years that I know should be by now I am experiencing already. And I wanted to give back big time to my mom and dad who works hard for us esp for me. I wanted to do something for myself and for my family. I wanted to prove to anyone that starting late is never too late because I always believe with what C.S. Lewis says "you are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream!" What's your excuse?! If you can dream it you can do it! Plus, I have so many failed decisions in the past and I want to make up to all of those and one step is this. And I know, I can!
Going back, I am enjoying my stay at my new company. It is far different from my previous work environment. Maybe, the fact that I am working solo makes me more productive since I am only relying to myself. Which I am very good at. Not that I'm not good nor not in favor on working as a team but ever since college its just me all along. Working means having a me-time always. I love eating alone even when I dine outside the office its always been a me-time. Though, hopefully, I'll gain some friends at the office, too. Pero hindi ko alam pano umpisahan. Haha! There were conversation started but I really don't know how to answer or to keep it moving. Sometimes, all I answered was a smile or a little laugh which pretty much a conversation stopper. And then after that, I realize (well inside my head) that there are a lot of possible answers that I can say to keep the conversation going and its just sucks you know, not being able to say that response right away. I am not really good at peer face to face conversation. Not of course if we are getting along together for a long time. Maybe I'm just new there. I don't know. I'm such a weirdo sometimes. And, though I wanted to start a conversation with them I am shy. I don't know how to start. But though like that, I am still enjoying my work and they are all nice naman to me. They smile at me or they smiled back at me and that's pretty much fine for me. I really don't feel left out.
Moreover, I am liking someone! And I can't believe I am saying it here. Right now! He is so nice and uhh good looking! And his voice is so mesmerizing? Natatawa ko sa mga term ko. Ay. Haha! But I get so bumpy(was that even a word? Haha!) I get these butteflies inside my stomach and I.PANIC.EVERYTIME.HE.IS.AROUND!! Or when he is near me! Its like I wanted him to be near but not really. Ano. Ba. Ellie. Help me!!! Haha! But then, I have to stay calm(laughs harder) but when he talks to me it was like ugggr I smile a lot! And I can't stop smiling! And I need to visit the comfort room just to hide my smile there! This has to stop! Hahaha oh goodness. I just hope he never finds out. Because I am so dead.
So much for my rant! Have a great day everyone!
"I was happy and I know you were too. We were so inlove together that it started to swallow and consume us. We love each other so much that it explodes and drifted us apart. You love me so much that you let me go. I love you so much that I need to move on."
